It has been a long time since I have ever signed in to blogger and wrote any decent post. I mean way too long a time. Anyway it is time to scribble away another post.
A lot of you of out there reading this who have known me for ages or even for short time, one thing that you’ll ever remember or that will come across your mind will be :
1. LAME ( well, yes i agree too)
2. Funny and Cheerful ( more towards joker side)
3. CRAZY ( well, in a good way one can hope)
Seeing a smile or a laugh from you guys though occasionally it’s either something that happen to me or what i say, makes me feel that at least i am cheering up people.
Everybody wants to someone to laugh with and cry with. That is why we have friends and family. What I don’t understand is when we are in relationship, these precious group of people will set apart themselves from you as if that you do not need them any longer. There’s this misconception that we, couple always want time alone with each other and we do not wish to be with you guys.
It is not us who pushed you guys away, You guys did it and I don’t really appreciate it when people in CF tend to walk away from any couple that they see and leave them alone. why? we’re not even married yet! As in my case, when i was single, everybody loves to lepak with me but right now when they see me, all they can talk about is my relationship. Some are mild and some quite dramatic.We are still friendly and sociable for your info. For you note too that I still am in a relationship and appreciating every moment that we're together.
Besides these, yesterday in CF, A video talk by Louie Giglio on “How Great is out God”. I have no whatsoever objections towards that talk. It was truly amazing. What stumped me was when Daniel’s challenge that make me feel loss of belonging sense and whether if fellowship with christians can ever gets pass beyond “mamak talk” and sermons and put into actions.
Daniel’s challenge was simple : What are you in TARC as a christian? , Are you making a difference here? Are you salt and light here? What have you done besides studies? That’s how my head interpreted it.
We are so caught up in making a difference and always looking the bigger picture that gradually made us lose focus on the small pieces of the frame that makes up the bigger picture. Don’t get it?
Let me tell you a truth about myself.
How many of you know that I’ve changed and I am being mature in handling my past mistakes that made me to work to pay my rentals and my studies fees on my own?
How many of you knows that my Dad has just been discharged from hospital due to unknown illness that has cause paralysis in his lower body?
How many of you that it has not been cured and we have to raise rm5,000 to cover his upcoming surgery which I have no clue how we will be raising it?
How many of you know this?
Even if you knew, what difference did it made? No one came to me to say it’s alright, come I pray for you, hey are you okay? what is the point in reaching out so far where your own brother is in the deep valley?
Okay that is big thing. How about minor things?
Sometimes I just want to be alone because language barrier. Actually it was never the language, it is the people who spoke it. I am part of a small minority group and the only one who still able to cope till now in CF. We are so focused in our own thing that we tend to leave rest out.
One night dinner in Charis changed me instantly. Everybody was talking in chinese and it may sound silly and stupid to you and so I invite you to put yourself my situation and find out yourself how it feels to be the only one who can’t understand the language and you’re dining among people who are able to speak english better but choose not to. You may easily say” go learn chinese and etc” but i ask you this, Are you saying it ignorantly to the fact that it is serious? or maybe that one person is not important. Then why do we again talk about making a difference and being the light and salt as being a brother itself is difficult?
It sounds not a big deal to you but when the facts sinks in and when it sinks in, I hope that hearts that beats with God is more than just a catchphrase.
There are so many like me out there in or out cf, christians bro and sis struggling in their own deep valley. So I am voicing out on behalf of them too for they may have scream too long for help till they lost their voice and just passing thru like a mist and vapor.
This is my challenge to you : Planning to reach out to reach to the lost and the weary? Why don’t you start within your own community?
Enough with cliches…
I can continue on and on but what is the point? Only God can convict these people’s heart and I only hope on God to vindicate me.
It has come to this, just another mere meeting in our calendar, no more and no less… No fancy and catchy theme would change our lives.
p.s : Feel offended? The truth hurts doesn’t it?
I am not emo-ing.This is my readable post, jon… hahahha
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